Shakespeare Was Emo

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Shakespeare was emo.
I recently re-read Romeo & Juliet to reinforce my hate for it; and now that I understand the language better, I can't help but realize how ridiculously lame it all is. So now I'm here to tell you why R&J is one of the worst plays ever written.

First of all, no one falls in love that fast. I'm pretty sure both of them were just angsty teenagers craving attention while feeling rebellious. I for one DO NOT believe in love at first sight. Maybe lust, but not love. Sure, love is great and all, but I think it takes more than appearances to fall in love with someone. What's even more disturbing is that right before Romeo meets Juliet, he's still pining over some other girl who isnt interested in him. The fact that he switches gears so fast is a red flag right there! This is only more evidence to support my theory that Romeo's only real interest is attention from pretty girls.

Another thing that bothers me is that Juliet is only about 13 years old. That's like my sister trying to run off with some guy. I highly doubt that if she did that now she'd be happy later. So the same goes for Juliet. I dont think that 13 year old girls really know what they want. They're pretty much just attention whores. That doesnt mean they have to be real whores too.

Also note the amount of crying Romeo does. He's probably gay and using Juliet as a cover-up. If Romeo existed in today's world, he'd probably be a cutter. He'd also probably wear lots of eyeliner and mascara and listen to My Chemical Romance and Good Charlotte a lot, too. In the play, he gets himself banished and goes crying to Friar Lawrence, who says "Art thou a man? thy form cries out thou art: They tears are womanish...Unseemly woman in a seeming man!"
Although Friar Lawrence and the Nurse are dumb enough to let R&J get away with the things they do, at least FL has the sense to tell Romeo he's being a little girl.

I guess I'm glad that they kill themselves in the end. I dont think the world needs any more stupid people breeding. We have enough of those already. I really do think that R&J should be taken off the reading list in schools. Especially for high school freshmen. It's only encouraging them to be emo and kill themselves for false loves. The play also supports stupid people getting married.

Sorry Shakespeare. I love Hamlet and Othello, but at least those hysterias are reasonable. Romeo& Juliet just sucks. 0.o